I'm in the days that seem to melt together in an ever repeating cycle.
The days no one writes about.
No songs sung about the unsatisfactory dullness of life.
No poems about the lack of (un)lucky moments.
I feel as if I'm a secondary person in another one's story
The far away friend or little sister or weird classmate or any other unimportant person in the life of the persons that matter.
Like I'm just someone to fill the space. Make it look natural.
No script. Just be there and don't disrupt the story line of others.
No one wants to listen to
Wants to read about
Wants to watch
Let alone live
A life slowly ticking away
Last Thursday we rode away from my parents' home for the last time.
We left the empty house behind us,
And for the first time in my entire life,
No one stood in the doorway to wave goodbye.
Even now that they are no longer here,
to warm the house with their presence,
the house isn't cold.
The memories keep it glowing still
--
Besides the house, Mom and dad also left an empty space in my heart.
I now needed to fill that void with the best
they have given me.
But I'm nothing like them
There were no interests that we shared
no baking, no card games, no chats over a cup of tea.
--
So instead I filled their empty space with their joy,
I want to scream at you
Thousands of words which
you do not deserve
I want to hug you tightly just like
you ask of me bury my crying face
safely in your chest
I want to write you every lyric and
every sentence that makes me
think of you days and days on end
I want to do whatever is easier
than to convince you I don’t need you
anymore while I’m not yet convinced myself
than to smile at you like you’re a friend trying
to hide the love still glowing in my eyes
Than to know I’ll only get hurt again if
I fall back into the arms I crave for badly
So
I want to tell you the way the univere
keeps creating and dis
My brain is no longer in control
Since it's been taken by the shadows
Eating at the corners of my head
Beating, digging, Pushing through
I know it won't succeed
But sometimes I wish it did
That my skull would just give in
Finally setting it free
The temptation for me is growing
To bury my nails inside my head
Trying to break this cage of meat
Ripping, tearing, pulling apart
I know it wouldn't help
But sometimes I wish it would
That the wind will blow my mind
Finally letting me breathe
She told me like it was nothing by Sammyswork, literature
Literature
She told me like it was nothing
"you're in love I can see it in your eyes"
She said
Not adding what we both knew to be true
"you looked at him with fear,
and nothing scares you like love
does."
I’ll let the water burn of heat
Let it fall onto my face
So my lips lose their feel
And my lungs gasp for air
As I'm breathing in the fog
The drops keep falling down
Leave traces to be seen
Red lines of painful skin
It keeps me going on
As if it's heating up a fire
Deep within this pile of doubt
Ready to burn through
I'm in the days that seem to melt together in an ever repeating cycle.
The days no one writes about.
No songs sung about the unsatisfactory dullness of life.
No poems about the lack of (un)lucky moments.
I feel as if I'm a secondary person in another one's story
The far away friend or little sister or weird classmate or any other unimportant person in the life of the persons that matter.
Like I'm just someone to fill the space. Make it look natural.
No script. Just be there and don't disrupt the story line of others.
No one wants to listen to
Wants to read about
Wants to watch
Let alone live
A life slowly ticking away
Bright blue eyes faded into pale grey.
Light lost its power.
Love forgot its purpose.
Worries buried our dreams.
Together turned into alone.
Our awful company became my lovely loneliness.
A kiss on my cheek, Good night.
Love you, Lights off.
You turn your back to me,
claiming all of the blankets.
I lay cold and motionless,
staring at the ceiling.
It’s all that’s left of us,
nothing but a few broken heartbeats.
What we had is gone,
If it had ever been there at all.
I wish we would give up,
We’re just some forced ‘I love yous’.
Trapped in a cage called ‘us’,
You can’t call this love.
How long until you realize, nothing can save us.
How long until you see, there’s nothing left to save.
For now, you are far asleep,
Lost in your dreams.
While I’m here wide awake,
L
I don’t want to fight,
Nor do I want to forgive.
I don’t want to keep regretting,
Nor do I want to move on.
I don’t want to cry,
Nor do I want to laugh.
I don’t want to leave you,
Neither do I want to stay.
Love is like a flower,
Delicate, but strong.
Love is a unique feeling,
That can't be felt wrong.
Love is a wish,
A feeling so divine.
Love is a kiss,
One that lets us both shine.
Love is true,
A beautiful sight.
Love is you,
You are my light.
It feels like I’m floating,
Now I’m standing in your arms.
Your eyes focused on mine,
Aware of you and me and us.
I’m still waiting to wake up,
But for once it’s not a dream.
We’re living our happily ever after,
I have found my happy ending.
If I told you
I'm falling further and further
Looking up at the eyes that capture me
What would you think?
If I told you
I'm falling deeper and deeper
Surrounded by the voice that warms me
What would you say?
If I told you
I'm falling in love
With someone who doesn't love me back
What would you do
If I told you
I'm falling for you
I like darkness,
The mystery hidden within.
I just have a strange habit of loving,
What others hate.
I like thunder,
The strength it brings with it.
I like fire,
The destructive powers it has.
I guess I just look at their beauty
Instead to judge them for their mistakes
So I'll just step into the dark, listen to the thunder,
Feel the warmth of the fire and love it.
I'll forget their mistakes, embrace their beauty,
And hope someday someone will do the same with me.
Last Thursday we rode away from my parents' home for the last time.
We left the empty house behind us,
And for the first time in my entire life,
No one stood in the doorway to wave goodbye.
Even now that they are no longer here,
to warm the house with their presence,
the house isn't cold.
The memories keep it glowing still
--
Besides the house, Mom and dad also left an empty space in my heart.
I now needed to fill that void with the best
they have given me.
But I'm nothing like them
There were no interests that we shared
no baking, no card games, no chats over a cup of tea.
--
So instead I filled their empty space with their joy,
I want to scream at you
Thousands of words which
you do not deserve
I want to hug you tightly just like
you ask of me bury my crying face
safely in your chest
I want to write you every lyric and
every sentence that makes me
think of you days and days on end
I want to do whatever is easier
than to convince you I don’t need you
anymore while I’m not yet convinced myself
than to smile at you like you’re a friend trying
to hide the love still glowing in my eyes
Than to know I’ll only get hurt again if
I fall back into the arms I crave for badly
So
I want to tell you the way the univere
keeps creating and dis
your bones are small,
but strong
like your heart,
they've never been broken
oh child,
stay away from the world
oh child,
i hope you never
realize
that dreams only
last for the night
My brain is no longer in control
Since it's been taken by the shadows
Eating at the corners of my head
Beating, digging, Pushing through
I know it won't succeed
But sometimes I wish it did
That my skull would just give in
Finally setting it free
The temptation for me is growing
To bury my nails inside my head
Trying to break this cage of meat
Ripping, tearing, pulling apart
I know it wouldn't help
But sometimes I wish it would
That the wind will blow my mind
Finally letting me breathe
Girl, dutch, weird, energetic, one-of-the-guys, never put any effort into life even though I should, Never do anything I should do actually, addicted to English language, write when I feel miserable, always in lots of trouble. Yeah.. that's me ;D
Favourite Movies
ugly truth, hunger games, transporter, lord of the rings
I cant be the only one now can I?
I just do NOT function in a school system. I can't sit still for an hour straight. Can't listen to long stories that only vaguely add to the subject and I can not read a book and just save whatever is important inside my head. I can't sit down to do my homework or quizzes and even if I somehow manage to do that for a little while, I can't answer the questions without the knowledge of the books and the lessons. I'm smart enough, finished my highschool without any trouble but now I'm in college; I have to start learning. How do people do that?
What I need is simple; someone telling me (or writing down for me)
I started a new study this year.
And it's killing me.
High school never troubled me
But my god, college does.
My mind isn't capable of learning. Of listening. Of reading.
Lately my ADHD seems worse than ever and I feel handicapped
My life consist of keeping myself under control, there's no room for anything else.
Music can't even cover it anymore. So I'm coloring or playing tetris or sleeping. hours. days. months.
I can't go to the movies. Can't watch one at home either.
Can't listen to story's and can't tell them; I'm always lost halfway.
Can't read texts covering more than 10 sentences. Can't follow my classes.
I don't know what
Nope.. I'm not talking about boys or relationships.
I'm talking about the love I can't avoid even if I wanted to; My big brothers.
I love them with all my heart and more if that's possible. They always were my idols, my examples in life, all 3 of them.
Yet they always cause me so much sorrow.
When I got older I noticed all their problems with money and drugs and it worried me like hell.
Tonight one of them has been taken into an emergency clinic for addicts. Cocaïne had been controlling his life for over 10 Years now.
Some how it is only now I realize how I probably don't even know him. Like... I only know him as his addicted-se